Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Racing thoughts

This morning, I woke up with this mix of feelings. All kinds of feelings happening all at once: anger, rage, happiness, melancholia, frustration, sadness, anxiety, guilt. I know it sounds extremely creepy, but suicidal thoughts are a constant. I have to confess that I fell asleep and also got up with the same idea: what the hell is my mission on earth?! What do I have to do to finally deserve some real rest?!

But whomever says I don't think about others, about things, about actions and reactions, needs to be told off. It's so unfair of everyone to judge me, and not care about me, when I'm literally dying inside. I guess there will be a day when I'll simply disappear and then I'll be somewhere wondering.. is there someone missing me?!